Getting Over A Breakup

Romantic relationships usually start off with a bang — full of joy, happy times and even lust. It’s sad to say, but it’s a fact of life – some relationships simply don’t work out and end in a breakup. A large percentage of us will have had to deal with a breakup at some stage of our life – whether painful or amicable.

Regardless of how you broke up, there are certain steps – although not perfect – which can help deal with a breakup.

It’s ok to be sad

Let it all out if you feel like it. It’s ok to be sad, hurt and feel alone after a breakup. Getting over someone takes time as having been in a relationship with this person you obviously harbored feelings for them. Dealing with feelings of sadness and hurt is key to getting over a relationship and moving on.

Take a break from your ex

Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, you should take a break from each and let yourself find yourself again. That means no phone calls, sms, emails, or any other communication for a while after the breakup – that includes sex. If you are going to continue seeing this person after the breakup you certainly don’t want to confuse the above mentioned feelings of sadness and hurt with renewed romantic feelings for this person. That can only lead to more heartache.

Clean up loose ends

Right after a break up you will want to avoid things that remind you of your ex including any photos, letters, gifts and keepsakes that you may have collected during your relationship. Gather everything given to you by your ex and store it in a box. Label and seal the box and store it in an attic or elsewhere out of sight.

If you have pictures or emails of your ex on your PC you can create a digital backup of the same and store it in the above mentioned box too.

It is important to keep a clear mind right after a breakup to help you find yourself again. Running into these reminders of the past can complicate things and help foster lingering thoughts and feelings – which ceratainly won’t help you get over a breakup.

Think through events that brought about the breakup

There is always a reason for a breakup. Perhaps you and your ex grew apart or your relationship lost its luster? Maybe your ex found someone else they were more compatible with? Perhaps you or your ex lacked support from each other? In any case, it is important to clear things up in your head and fully understand what brought about the demise of your relationship so that you do not repeat the same mistake the next time you get involved with someone.

Get support from your loved ones

It is a lot easier to deal with the pain and stress of a breakup with the aid of supporting friends and family. Talking things through can help you understand what brought about your breakup and deal with any after effects. Friends and family can be a great source of unconditional love and support at testing times like these. Be careful to spread the load on your loved ones as you don’t want to wear any one person out – remember, they probably have problems of their own to deal with.

Enjoy yourself and enjoy life

Sometimes we get so involved in a relationship we completely forget about who we are and what we enjoy. Look at this stage of your life as a glass half full rather then a glass half empty and enjoy yourself. Do things you never had time to do while in a relationship – join clubs and memberships, mingle, meet other people, participate in sports, spend time with your friends and family… You may find that a breakup was the best thing that could happen to you.

Take your time

Don’t jump straight into another relationship – relationships on the rebound usually don’t lead to much good in the long run. Take the time to figure out where you stand in life and what you want from your future. Draw positives and negatives from your relationship and figure out what you want from the next one. Allow your heart to fully heal and learn to love yourself before you open your heart to someone else again.

If required, get professional help

Dealing with a breakup can be a difficult and painful experience. You can turn to professionals to help you cope. Professional counselors can help you deal with the stress and pain, especially if you do not feel comfortable discussing things with your family or friends.

And finally, think positive

Your relationship breakup very likely happened for a reason. Life goes on and so should you. Think about it, you are SINGLE again. Even though dating can sometimes be daunting, it presents you with the chance of meeting someone new – the excitement of a first kiss, nervousness of a first date, the beauty of a new love discovered. Never forget that life is there to be enjoyed and experienced!

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